Flew up visit family in Surrey (south of Vancouver, BC, Canada) to get away from the renovations and to focus on writing some mini-cases for cash flow. Haven't picked up a book or posted since I left on Monday.
My plan was to work mornings and play afternoons. That's not working. It's hard to carve out time to work at all when you visit family. I was hoping for cold rain everyday, instead it's sunny.
I value the time spent in New York more than ever -- how valuable it was to have the gift to just focus on work, school and my relationship (on weekends) and not be distracted by other things. That's what I've wanted all my life and keep searching for: time spent silent, alone, uninterrupted. When I'm with others, especially when I visit here, I can't do that. It's not the way of my people -- it's not the way of me. So instead, I have to physically shut out the world by working late at night (as I am doing tonight and did when an undergrad) or physically distancing myself from distractions.
All this time I thought I needed the physical distance & silence to concentrate. I realize now that I need it in order to emotionally disengage from the world around me. To shut out the emotional need I hear from the people around me, to shut out noise that keeps pulling me away, to turn off the monkey brain, the chatter in the head. I've never been able to grow a thicker skin, so instead I create buffer zones.
Too much awareness, and not enough attention?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
5 comments:
Rani,
Hey congrats with the blog. Glad I was able to help shape your thinking. Keep up the good work in the field and keep working toward the goal.
Karl
holy crap. i hear you regarding MA thesis. I have been working on mine for years. I have exactly 3 weeks to complete it now. Keep your chin up.
You'll be able to focus when the rainy season arrives in the Bay Area. Your life will be just like in NYC - living in a cramped single room with a kitchenette off the hall. Construction noise wafting in. Primary difference? No urine smell when you walk the street (at least not human), and it's a short drive rather than walk to find a Jamba Juice. The answer...enroll in something pronto. It will orient you toward academic order. And once accomplished - never look back!
Karl - thanks for your comment; appreciate you took the time to post your thoughts.
Karen - Good luck! Would love to hear how it turns out. Sometimes a firm deadline is a good thing.
hickcity - thanks for following protocol and posting on my blog... wish some *other* people would do that too. Yes, the rain today helped. It blocked out the noise. I will get this done & stop torturing all those around me ...soon.
Post a Comment