Moving Forward

Today I had a good, albeit brief, conversation with my adviser. We agreed that it is possible for me to graduate by May 2009. In order to do that I need to:

1. Complete a 1 page project proposal to her by Jan. 7 (she said 31st but I'm aiming for earlier)
2. Apply for graduation by Feb 1
   
3. Draft by mid-March '09
   
4. Complete project & paper by April 15 '09
   
5. Java certification equivalency by April 15

The basic outline of the paper/proposal should state:

1. What's the need
2. What's currently out there
3. Why is this different
4. Why this design
5. What is the pedagogy behind it
6. How does this lead to the design principles

The above 6 points is pretty much exactly what I did for every game design class. She just made it sound so doable.

<exhale> How I've missed bullet points and deadlines!

Real Constraints and random thoughts

Real constraints - So ironic that I wrote about constraints yesterday. As it turns out, Columbia rescinded my email account which means that I cannot register for graduation. So I'm now in the process of getting that reinstated. Apparently there is a deadline! Hola!

I'm also having a conversation with my adviser next week -- so I better have something tangible to talk to her about.

Random thoughts about technology for learning
In thinking about using technology for learning, I think we often conflate the ways technology can be used. As communication productivity tools, technologies make communications quicker, & more efficacious. For example: webconferencing, or using Adobe Connect or Centra for lectures/information sharing; wikis for collaborative project management; blogs for one to many sharing; researching a topic or sharing tags with del.ico.us or diigo.

Technology as content - using Second Life to learn about SL or using programming to design games. Using online blogs, sites, etc. to learn about specific technical skills.

Technology as enabling learning - using technology to learn content more deeply - using games to learning financial systems; using modular online video to examine sections of content; using online cases (stories) to understand complex problems.

Technology as identity - this is perhaps the most difficult category to describe. Many people call this technology as social networking tool, but i think it is more than that. It is what Sherri Turkle calls the virtual identity, virtual leash or umbicial cord. It is life-on-line. It is how you feel about your avatar in SL or WoW or even Habbo Hotel. It is your Facebook profile, your LinkedIn status, your blog identity. It's about the care and feeding of the virtual self. This is the different roles you play in your virtual worlds. It is even you email persona. It's that other you. (That's why MikeB, one asks the oracle Google to divine your future for your virtual self.)

Random thoughts about the war(s) - The 3 trillion dollar war - by cash flow accounting - I heard an interview recently on NPR by the author of the 3 trillion dollar war. Did you know the government is using CASH based accounting *not* ACCRUAL based accounting to track the costs of the war.

Do you have any idea how insane that is? If they were a corporation, that would be illegal and it would be impossible to fully understand the financial status of the company. It means that when the government orders tanks for say $3 mil, the transaction is not recordeded as a $3mil expense, the transaction is only what cash was paid up front, say the downpayment of $300,000. The rest is accounted for when it is paid. What's recorded is only what is paid, not the full expense of the tanks. So how do we know how much is really being spent on the war? WE DON'T!!!

It's like giving a teenager a credit card, allowing them to spend willy nilly, and having them record the costs of their expenses as only the minimum amount they pay on their credit card each month -- their actual cash outlay costs. Unbelievably irresponsible.

This in addition to the fact that the gov't is borrowing most of the money from the Chinese to pay for the damn war. What's the collateral? Will they own the country if we can't pay?

It's so important to understand the difference between cash flow and accrual based accounting.

Time for constraints

At our last book club meeting we read Bel Canto by Ann Patchett. It was an absolutely beautiful, unexpected story. In researching Ann Patchett, the author, I came across another book she wrote called Truth & Beauty, about her friendship with Lucy Grealy, author of Autobiography of a Face, a memoir about Lucy's life in the aftermath of cancer surgery that removed a part of her jaw. Since I was so mesmerized by Bel Canto I decided to read these two books, starting with Lucy Grealy's memoir and then reading Ann Patchett's non-fiction book about their friendship. I finished them both in a few days.

There is much to say about these two books, about love & friendship between two women (how I miss my close friends!), about the emotional, intellectual play of two writers, and simply about the work of being a writer. The everyday nature of writing for Ann Patchett, the divine inspiration and frenzied struggle of writing for Lucy Grealy. The role they played for each other, mentoring, inspiring, and pushing each other.

In my work, I look for divine inspiration where I am swept up in the ectasy of writing and creating. That rarely happens. But that is what I keep wanting (reminsicent of my post on passion in one's work.) I am torn between just getting this master's done, and creating a work of inspired art. This desire to create art, I know, is false in so many ways. First of all, it is form of procrastination, but most clearly it is just wrong -- a masters in educational technology is not art. It is, as hickcity reminded me in his comment, a career move. This is what I have to remember -- and I just need to get it done. Ann Patchett I learned is the writer "ant", day by day she plugs away, and creates beauty in her words.

Whether or not I create truth and beauty in my work, what matters at this point, is just finishing. I cannot turn this into a Nicole Brossard essay. The one paper I never finished writing in my undergraduate career was a 20 page paper on Mauve Desert, a book by Nicole Brossard, a Quebecois, feminist, lesbian writer -- in translation from French -- of course. I tried to write that paper, make it insightful and amazing, only to realize that I had nothing left to say. With angst and time I wrote myself into silence; I can't let that happen here and now.

There was a part in Ann's description of Lucy where, in order to finish her memoir, Lucy had to have deadlines imposed upon her, and have noise and chaos in her life creating pressure to write. I think I have a little of that in me. Work, school and New York created the perfect context for me to work -- albeit unbalanced and unhealthy. Palo Alto is just the opposite -- very little pressure, no real deadlines. I need to create a pressures and deadlines for myself, which I've tried to do in the past by creating reading timelines. Those only partially worked as I didn't focus on the core of the work -- the content of the design.

Applying for for graduation in the spring will create the desired deadline-induced anxiety and stress. I think, also, I need to just write the thesis about my project, and then find a way to create my project. It's a little ass-backwards but it may get me out of this rut by writing the ending first. I also need to get rid of one last nagging requirement and get certified in Java -- another deadline and stress.

Also it helps to get back to the routine of writing in the mornings --before the brain has not been numbed by the minutiae of life. So I begin again. Wish me luck.

Reflections on the Journey

Sitting in the sun back in Palo Alto and easing back into the unfinished masters & house renovations. To be honest, I never really thought about the masters or the house while traveling, I never got bored, never pined for my own bed, and came to the realization that the peak of civilization is a good, hot shower whenever you want. You can see some pictures from the travels by clicking this link to my Picasa web album site -- there is one set of photos for each country. Below is a pic that epitomizes each place for me.

Seville - life lived outside, warm and inviting. Narrow streets meant for walking, turning corners and suddenly seeing a doorway, an insight to another life.

Dubai - life lived inside. This is my favorite picture of the people in the mall viewing the people in the ski slope. None of the malls had windows onto the outside world -- what's there to see but other buildings and the dirty remains of a desert? And during the hot, hot summers windows become impractical. The ski slope is the Dubai we see on news reports -- this is the Dubai the emir wants us to know about. Not the crowded, congested Dubai where many live, or the endless apartments of Sharjah and Ajman. This picture of the ski slope reminds me of Second Life -- people standing around, unconnected to each other, watching and waiting for something to happen.

And then there is Paris -- romantic and cold (in all aspects of that word.) What more can I say? It was lovely to experience Paris with my partner, Peter as he re-experienced places of his youth, walking familiar streets, eating at familiar places. Unlike Dubai (which changed everyday) Paris was essentially the same as 20 years ago.

I'm at a loss of how to get this masters done.

Loss of momentum, loss of desire, and I question why I was doing this in the first place.

Journey - Part 1&2

Finally a moment to write a post about the travels. Seville, Spain was fun. Saw a couple sites (pics coming as soon as I can find my camera cable!), but mostly walked the streets of the old town trying to find my way around and discovering amazing alleyways, roman ruins, and arab baths. I feel if I had just another couple days I could make sense of the maze of streets. Imagine the games you could play in that city! It would be so much fun because it is so no- grid.

Traveling in Spain with Renfe, the train service is easy, fast, efficient -- the best way to get city to city in Spain. Malaga, a coastal city where we caught our plane was more industrial and had a smaller old town, but with the most amazing fort town with roman ruins layered on phonecian, then layered again with moorish and christian. I could have spent hours making my way around the place.

Finally we arrived in Dubai, UAE where it took hours to rent a car and sort out the details. Driving in Dubai is both easy and maddening. It's a grid system with just a few main roads, but between the round-abouts, construction, and minimal signage, it is really easy to get lost. The locals are very helpful in giving directions, but the sense of what is near what is not so precise. Everything is opposite something else, whether or not that is where you are going. Do I care that the Regent hotel is opposite the shopping mall when were I want to get is somewhere else.

Dubai is Las Vegas on steriods, yes. I think though, Dubai is more like Second Life (SL), whatever you can imagine can be built. They are terraforming all the time here -- creating new islands in the ocean by dredging up the sea floor. Except in Dubai, you see the workers carting the dirt around on their heads, whereas in SL that part of building is conveniently hidden. You have the same sense of vast swaths of buildings without people. A little strange, these are my first impressions.

There are many Dubai's -- we went to Dubai for the wealthy last night -- the Atlantis hotel at the tip of the Palms (the terraformed island in the middle of the ocean lined with houses and hotels). It's a shopping mall meets aquarium meets New York style restaurants. Then there is the other Dubai, where about 40-50% of the people live -- less glitzy, less clean.

Off today to see older part of UAE -- Ajman (neighboring emirate), Deira (old Dubai), and will probably visit some souks (open markets). Will post pics hopefully soon.

Preparing for a Journey

Recently I've been researching on how to combat jet lag - adjusting sleeping patterns, using melatonin and sunshine to reset your clock. It's pretty basic - start gradually adjusting as if you were in the time zone in which you will be traveling to - this is especially important if you are traveling west to east. So thus the reason I'm awake at 5am and writing this post at 6:30am on a Saturday (not that weekends mean anything anymore.)

Where, might you ask, am I going? Seville, Spain; Dubai, UAE; and Paris, France -- oh yes, topped off with Thanksgiving in Hyde Park, Chicago -- just down the block from our president-elect! (And yes, hickcity, we will ask the parents what they think of Obama now -- latest reports have been glowing.) My other half, who is currently snoring in bed, has conferences and business meetings in all these locations, and I get to be the spouse and come along for the ride. How cool is that?!? It will also be nice to get away from camping in this house (we are living in one room while the rest of the house in being renovated...kinda like being in a studio in my New York.)

Of course, this means I am focused on tons of last minute house stuff -- tile emergencies, lighting fixtures, interior paint choices -- it's endless. I've also been making sure we have hotels to stay in, researching what I'll be doing in these locations, and generally not focusing on the masters. Just as a side note, we'll actually be picking up tile in Spain and Paris and bringing it back to California. A little crazy. I'm sure we'll have fun at customs.

Back to the unfinished masters for a moment -- I've decided not to take my laptop as Pedro (the snoring one) will have his spanking new mac book pro. I will take all my data and most importantly, financial books so I can focus on the creating a series of increasingly complex contrasting cases for the first part of the instructional design. The plan is to work in the early mornings, then play. Anything will be better than my current situation where between dealing with more and more of the renovation, our lives within the renovation, and managing Pedro as he becomes increasing immersed in his startup -- leaves me with little emotional energy. Sometimes I wonder if I'm not becoming my mother, sans kids, always supporting the lives of others. Ouch.

There is this article that my former CEO mentioned to me once -- called the wives of the organization, which I still haven't read (A.S. Huff, "Wives--Of the Organization," paper presented at the Women and Work Conference, Arlington, Texas, May 11, 1990, is the closest reference I can find.) It's about how women take on the "wife" role in organizations, taking care of the needs of others, whether that be as administrative assistants or project managers or doing the non-paid work of organizing parties, baby showers, and other social events. I keep thinking of my own socialization and how deep it runs, how hard it is for me to break out of the mold of being a caregiver, no matter how hard I resist it or where I end up in an organization. Some of that is external, forced upon you, and some is internal, moving to what's known and comfortable. So much of my life has been spent resisting becoming my mother. Perhaps it's time to let go.

There is a book I need to find again about Buddhism called "When You're Falling, Dive" by Cheri Huber. Instead of resistance, simply accept, move on, and change from a place of acceptance. So much easier to do without all that energy going into resistance. A willful determination has taken me to where I am today (or as in the Adrienne Rich poem, "a wild patience has taken me thus far"). A determination, a desire to become more than the roles allotted to me by family and community. A desire to bankroll myself. And finally, this muddled desire that taken me to this masters. What was that desire? To become a designer of instruction, to get out of the "wife" roles I kept finding myself in. To use this masters to reset my identity. As Mike pointed out in the comments on the passion post, do I keep looking outside of myself to fulfill my desires? (And how does determination become desire... what is the difference? there's a letting go and diffusion of focus.)

I did this masters, and moved to New York for that 18 months, to literally and figuratively to find my own space. To get away from the distractions of Pedro, who is awake now, talking to his business partner on the cordless phone, at the top of his lungs, walking around the house, using the speaker phone. We have no doors at this point in the renovation. I did this masters to get away from Durham and a job that had become a rut. There's that word again - rut. Funny that, that's where I am now, in a rut with this masters. Aigh.

Ok, enough for this post. Perhaps resetting my clock is exactly what I need right now.

Emotion & Designing Learning

In a recent article from the Learning Solutions magazine Paul Clothier interviews Carmen Taran (author of Better Beginnings) who talks about Edge and Emotion: What e-Learning Programs Are Missing. It's an easy read and interesting article. What struck me was the following quote from Carmen:

Too often designers do not have “chemistry” with the content. You have to feel something for what you arrange in pixels. Creating content that has edge and emotion is a bit like falling in love....At least some of the content needs to be part of you.

YES! YES! YES! You have to know & care about what you're trying to help people learn. I am reminded of work we did for a client around selling (back when I had a job, which I just resigned from today, on good terms, resolving a long leave of absence.) During one of the discovery interviews, one of the client's senior people said "you have to have a passion for your client's business, or else how can you excel at your work day after day?"

So yes, when we design learning, we have to have passion for what we are trying get people to understand, or else how do we expect people to learn about it? That means digging into the content, understanding the nuances of how you learn about it.

To play devil's advocate - what about SME's (subject matter experts)? Isn't that their role, to understand and be passionate about the content?

I am reminded of what John Bransford wrote about great teachers -- "effective teachers need pedagogical content knowledge (knowledge about how to teach in particular disciplines) rather than only knowledge of a particular subject matter." Their knowledge of how to teach interacts with their knowledge of the discipline, allowing them to understand what and how their students need to learn in that particular content area. "Expert teachers know the structure of their disciplines." Being an expert teacher in a discipline is not the same as being an expert or SME in that discipline. Yes, you have to know something about what you're teaching about, you have to be knowledgeable about the structure of the discipline, and you have to understand what will help people learn in this subject area.

It's true that corporate learning is not the same as teaching in schools, however, I would argue that the business of our organizations is the discipline. If I'm not passionate about finance and understanding how the world of money works, then what am I doing here? If I am not passionate about adult learning, then why do I write this blog everyday?

Is it possible to create effective learning if you don't care about the content of what you designing?

Distracted in Canada

Flew up visit family in Surrey (south of Vancouver, BC, Canada) to get away from the renovations and to focus on writing some mini-cases for cash flow. Haven't picked up a book or posted since I left on Monday.

My plan was to work mornings and play afternoons. That's not working. It's hard to carve out time to work at all when you visit family. I was hoping for cold rain everyday, instead it's sunny.

I value the time spent in New York more than ever -- how valuable it was to have the gift to just focus on work, school and my relationship (on weekends) and not be distracted by other things. That's what I've wanted all my life and keep searching for: time spent silent, alone, uninterrupted. When I'm with others, especially when I visit here, I can't do that. It's not the way of my people -- it's not the way of me. So instead, I have to physically shut out the world by working late at night (as I am doing tonight and did when an undergrad) or physically distancing myself from distractions.

All this time I thought I needed the physical distance & silence to concentrate. I realize now that I need it in order to emotionally disengage from the world around me. To shut out the emotional need I hear from the people around me, to shut out noise that keeps pulling me away, to turn off the monkey brain, the chatter in the head. I've never been able to grow a thicker skin, so instead I create buffer zones.

Too much awareness, and not enough attention?

A Time for Telling: ID with Contrasting Cases

Daniel Schwartz & John Bransford wrote an article in 1998 called A Time for Telling. In this article they "propose that analyzing contrasting cases can help learners generate the differentiated knowledge structures that enable them to understand a text deeply. Noticing the distinctions between contrasting cases creates a 'time for telling'; learners are prepared to be told the significance of the distinctions they have discovered."[1]

Schwartz went on with others to more fully develop this instructional design model into having groups of learners looking at a series of "tightly focused contrasting cases"; after each case the learners would create a model to explain the concept that was being taught. The different cases emphasized different aspects of a concept, forcing learners to adjust their models. As a class, they would compare models, and then receive a lecture about the concept they had just learned. Because they grappled with the material & concept on their own first, they were able to more deeply integrate the lecture with what they had just learned. This works well with novel concepts and knowledge domains.

In my first semester in graduate school we had to design instruction and we used a variation on the above model. We were teaching people how to use the subway system in New York City. The course consisted of a classroom portion and a experiential or video portion. In the classroom portion we had learners investigate and navigate "cases" of increasing complexity (using one subway line only, using the express, using multiple lines) in order to have them build their own mental model of the subway system. The experiential or video portion was designed to provide a mini-lecture on using on using the system, and to familiarize people with the affective part of riding the subway (noise, signage, using the machines, etc.) We actually tested out our design on a few people with pretty good results: the 2-3 actual novices we got felt less intimidated in using the system. They actually used the express first time out! (Note: it was challenging to find "novice" subway riders in NYC.)

Learning about the concept of contrasting cases, the thinking and research behind it, put a whole new perspective on instructional design. Up until then, I was familiar only with the ADDIE (Analyze, Design, Develop, Implment & Evaluate) model, and then only tangentially so. Schwartz & Bransford's research was easier to implement and more effective than the ADDIE model. The ADDIE model to me is too abstract. It is not concrete enough. It's not USEFUL enough. One should call it the ADDIE model because you progressively run out of energy, time and resources as you try to go through all the steps.

One of the cores of effective instruction is effective methods. Some people might characterize the research of Schwartz & Bransford as a method, but I think it is much more than that. It is about how we build knowledge by seeing differences, and how we create the courage to use that knowledge. It increases the probability of success -- isn't that we try to do when we design instruction? Prescribe how to design so we can increase the probability of success of our learners? (that's from Reigeluth, What is ID?)

Schwartz and Bransford's instructional design model invigorated me -- it gave me hope that I too, could design.

[1] Schwartz, Daniel L. and Bransford, John D. (1998) A Time for Telling. Cognition and Instruction. Vol. 16, No. 4, pp. 475-522.

What's this Master's about, anyways?

Money falling from heaven?
There's a voice inside my head that keeps saying "Just do it!" (You can see him below, as a simple Flash animation sequence) He's right, it's time to answer the question...

My interest is in the intersection of games, business and education. Specifically, learning about accounting and finance, in particular cash flow. The big idea: design a game that demonstrates cash flow as a system, in particular a plumbing system. Yes, it's Joe the Plumber meets the cash flow of a company. Quick Joe, fix it! Before we run out of water! Sorry, a bit of a digression.

To gather my thoughts I created the slide presentation below to talk about my design process, how I came up with this idea, and why.

As I doing this, I realized a fundamental flaw in process. I started with the technology instead of the learning objectives. I jumped to the conclusion that I needed to create a game, and therefore I need to learn Flash to create this game. And therefore I need to learn Actionscript, right? As I was explaining this I realized I am making this very complicated.

This learning Flash soup-to-nuts...well, I'll never get my Masters done if I go down that rabbit hole. This is the constant struggle with this work, there's always another paper I feel I need to read, another technology that I need to learn. Yes, I want to do it all, but do I have to do it all right now? Is there an easier way to achieve the learning objectives that I want, create a game, but not necessarily one that is so dependent on learning Flash Actionscript 3. Time to take a step back and examine this from another perspective.

About the Flash files: Money Falling from Heaven: is modified version of the Animated Object exercise that I got from Gary Rosenzweig's Game Programming University. The 3 flash files in this post are respectively 2k ($ falling, actionscript only), 9k (animated flash), and 118k (slide show in flash - not the best use of the medium).

Structured Procrastination & Getting Help

Here - this is why I am doing this blog...it's a form of structured procrastination (thanks mikeB for reminding me of procrastination in your comments. Also wanted to expand on "how a friend helped me."

Structured Procrastination
"The brainchild of Stanford University philosophy professor John Perry, structured procrastination involves doing small, low-priority tasks to build a sense of accomplishment and the energy to tackle more important jobs. Mr. Perry, a chronic procrastinator, suggests followers choose an important task, but defer work on it while tackling others. 'Don't be ashamed of self-manipulation,' he says." (quoted from WSJ article "How to Put Off Work--Constructively") Click above for his web site (yet another form of procrastination?)

Just so you know, I've been energized by doing this blog. I'm putting together ideas that have been floating around in my head, doing a PPT as a beginning of an outline (yes, I know, but for some reason, it's easier to organize my thoughts on PPT... a form of indoctrination perhaps?)

Helped by a friend One of the things that helped me get out of my rut was a friend who needed someone to practice her coaching on. I volunteered. We talked for a mere half-hour about identity, resistance (just touching on those subjects.) Then we made a plan together. Having someone to talk to about my masters helped break it down into manageable chunks. She's a great coach and I'm happy to recommend her. Just let me know. Thanks V.

Thanks for all the comments and support. It helps to know you're reading -- keep me accountable!

p.s. I think I will get the structured procrastinator t-shirt, later.

Months 2-7 (Mar-Sep '08) - an audit

I feel that I need to do some accounting for myself -- accounting and audit being appropriate words for what my masters is about (I'll get to it soon, promise.) What have I been doing for the past 7 months?

Mar - Taking online cognition & learning course from TC. Paper due this month. More catching up on sleep. Started reading The Fifth Discipline by Peter Senge.
Apr - Renovations begins on the house. I leave for Vancouver to visit my family for 3 weeks and get away from the demolition. First time in 11 years that I've spent more than a week with them. (Parents got a new dog - Lucy!) Return at end of month. Coursework continues.

May - Family visits for a week. Term paper due. Finished course.
Jun - Mom has a sudden "opportunity" for knee replacement surgery. Back to Vancouver for 2 wks to help. Ended up dealing with own medical stuff when I returned (end of the fiscal year!) Finished reading the Fifth Discipline.
Jul - Work on the concept for the educational game design. Subject area: Accounting/Finance - read 2 books on Financial Accounting. Return visit to Vanc. mid-month to check on mom and make blueberry jam. Have to deal with fixing up house in NC which is starting to have problems after a year on the market.
Aug - Brother's family visits for first wk in August. Play tourist for a week. Read book on Cash Flow and flesh out game design. Broke tooth - no dental. Dealing with that. NC house stuff continues.
Sep - The moment of truth. To do what I want to do, I have to learn Flash - Actionscript. I have resisted being defined as a programmer, and thus learning programming because I wanted to be known as a designer. But since I've decided I'm working at the intersection of games, learning and business -- guess what? I'd better get over that identity crisis fast. A friend helps me figure out a way to be accountable for myself and others for getting my Masters done. I start reading Colin Moock - Actionscript 3 book.

I don't know how I managed to go to take 3 graduate courses a semester and hold down a job 4+ days a week for the 18 months before moving to the Bay Area. I can't imagine doing that again.

Time flies when your catching up on your unlived life.

Month 1: Waking up in Paradise

(this was originally written as an email to friends Feb. 27, 2008)

Hey there.

It has been precisely one month since I left New York. One month. What you might ask, have I been doing with my time? It's a question I ask myself often, as the days have passed by, with no boundaries, no pressures. Well, I'm happy to report that my productivity have plummeted to an all time low, some days so low that it barely registers.

You see, I've had a month of Saturdays.

Not Sundays, Saturdays. Saturdays are the days when the weekend is still fresh and new, and you have a whole 2 days to get things done -- you know, all those things you didn't get done during the week cause you were working too hard. Organizing, sorting, cleaning and dreaming. Yes, dreaming. Saturdays, particularly Saturday mornings are the day that I dream. I've been catching up.

But first I had to sleep for 10 days, which was good since it rained. Did anyone tell you about the damp Northern Californian rain? And about how Californians don't heat their homes above 65 degrees? My husband is officially a Californian now because he kept insisting it perfectly fine.

I was a helluva lot warmer in New York cause at least New Yorkers have heat indoors (be grateful people!) Here I hovered on the edge of almost freezing for weeks. Everyone kept telling me I'd get used to it -- liars. I was very happy when my New York apartment stuff arrived with my woolen sweaters. Now, I'm warm.

So I slept, then I did those things you have do when you move: figuring out where things are, what things are, and what you need to do. And then, I got my drivers license. This is when I became a true Californian. No, it wasn't the 3 hours I spent at the DMV. Not it wasn't the thrill of getting my CA driver's license in the mail with my weight printed (imagine my surprise!)

I became a true Californian the day I went to get my driver's license -- and got a flat tire on 101.

So for those of you who don't know -- 101 is a completely hellish highway. Many narrow lanes, people either driving too fast or too slow. And then there is the debris. 101 is full of random debris. In my case, it was a complete tire and wheel rim in the middle of my lane. The car in front swerved, I tried to do the same, glanced in my mirrors, saw a truck in the other lane, decided to cut my swerve, hit the tire, got a flat. Welcome to CA.

While on the side of the 101 calling OnStar, the CHP (yes, chips!) arrived within 10 minutes. There were a total of 4 cars including myself sidelined by the damn tire. CHP escorted me off the highway as they were very concerned about my safety -- people on the side of the road often get hit from behind. I took their advice. (Yes I drove on my flat, didn't destroy my rims though.)

I didn't file a report, which ended up being a good because since the tire wasn't moving, apparently it would be my fault for hitting it, according to the officer. Please note that for future reference. If you're every asked, either the debris was moving or you can't remember. Thank you for the heads up CHPs.

And yes, the CHP officers were cute. Not like Erik Estrada though (if you have to ask, you're too young or you slept during your youth.)

Things are settling into a rhythm for now. I sit in the morning sun, reading, drinking tea, and trying to focus on completing the degree, which is hard to do when there are not demarcations in your day. But things are starting to happen.

A graduate school friend from NY came to visit during the Game Developers Conference last week and we went GDC-party-hopping in SanFran. She helped me remember the "why" of the degree.

We finally have a contractor now and the house renovations should begin once the rains have stopped. Life will get unsettled soon.

My mother is thrilled that I'm on the west coast and calls me everyday to ask about the weather, whether I've eaten and what my husband is up to. I'm usually drinking tea when she calls. Husband is hard at work on his next project -- details to remain undisclosed for now.

I miss New York sometimes (not the subway, my throat is *finally* back to normal.) It takes energy to get to New York and to stay living New York. You gotta keep moving to do that, and New Yorkers are full of zestful, frenzied energy. The energy of CA is different, more optimistic. It's about dreaming outwards. And here, the energy, the money and “can do it” attitude exists to make dreams happen. Durham, I miss less, but I haven't lived there in a while so it's that much further away. And no, haven't sold the house yet -- we're ever hopeful.

So I'm awake now and it feels good. I'm sending a few pics to help you imagine this laid-back life. We should all get a month of Saturdays at some point in our working lives.

I hope that you are all well, and I miss you. I shall write again, maybe in a month.

cheers,
..rani